The Fanboy and the Sterotypical Plot Idea
by homicidalCreator
Summary: Lance English, anime nerd, awkward cinnamon roll, and fanboy. His his top fictional character flush crush, John Egbert, pops into his room. What happens? He's pulled into SUBURB. One question, why is every one trying to hook him up with John? Shenanigins Ensue. There is somewhat a plot.
1. And So It Begins

**So Hi,First Story...Lets Do This**

 **homicialCreator:Start Your Story  
**

* * *

A young man is sitting in his bedroom,staring at his laptop from his desk,he is drawing using shitty MS Paint.

Due to nightime amnesia he doesn't remember his name so would you kindly remind him?

Reader:Enter Name

"Stupid VonPigsmellingsalts"

What the...seriously?

"Lance English"

Much better.

You are LANCE and have a variety INTERESTS. You have a passion for THE DIVINE ARTS . You play videogames but suck at all genres but turn base RPGS and have a fondness for WASTING YOUR TIME ON THE INTERNET. You're an aspiring ARTIST,WRITER,and LETS PLAYER.

Sometimes you COSPLAY.

What do you want to do?

Lance:Examine Room

This is your room. It is full of POSTERS of various VIDEOGAMES and TV SHOWS. Your BED or RESPITE BLOCK is untidy and unmade. PILLOWS with ZODIAC SIGNS stiched into them are thrown around all over the respite block.

You have a calender hanging near the door that has a specific day circled in your favorite color,aquamarine.

What is so significant about this day if it is so in the spotlight?

Lance:Cheak Calender

Today is currently 4/13,or April 13th, birthday of Homestuck and the renowned John Egbert.

Another thing you have a passion for is Homestuck.

You have already uploaded your supposed "birthday gift" to the vast internet. Even if he won't see it you like to think he does and apreciates your efforts.

Ignorance is a new bestfriend when it comes to it.

In your supposively depressive mental rant your computer dings to notify you someone was trying to message you on Pesterchum.

Lance:Cheak You Pesterchum


	2. Here Comes the Knight of Doom

_Previously on "The Fanboy and the Sterotypical Plot"_

Lance:Cheak Pesterchum

* * *

You open up Pesterchum and see who is messaging you.

"grimAuxiliatrix" was the chumhandle.

Oh okay,a Homestuck roleplayer was messaging you this late at night?Eh,probably timezones. You _are_ in Canada.

Lance:Answer The Vampire Fashion Queen

-grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering canadianMafioso [CM] at 00:00 am-

[GA] Hello

[GA] You're Lance,Am I Correct?

[CM] Y3s Ma'am

[CM] Although It Is Kinda W3ird That You Know My Nam3...

[GA] My Apologies

[GA] I Have Been Requested To Pass On A Message That Should Aid You Soon

[CM] 3r... Alright, Whats The D3al?

[GA] Prepare

-grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering canadianMafioso [CM] at 00:08 am-

Welp...that was certainly...odd...

Why did she mean by "prepare"?

Maybe I should pack a back pack of stuff or something...

Wait,why are you listening to this stuff?

In your gut you feel like you should follow these orders...

Fuck it

Lance:Pack Your Bags

Alright let's see here...

You grab a backpack from your closet

You have major problems...

The backpack has the doom aspect symbol printed on the front with the words "Knight of Doom" plastered overtop in a graffetti type font.

Let's just get packing

You grab the generic know,flashlight,water bottles,laptop,DS,headphones,ect.

Then you grab the more optional ,chargers,little charms of luck.

Then there is the ivory die.

That die is _verrrryyyy_ special.

You could kill a man,creature,things or whatever you came across in the universe.

The die is made of ivory with gold spots that represent numbers.

Unlike Vriska's dice,your die is only six-sided.

The side that represents one has the dot more raised than you press the button the die turns into a sycthe with the same color scheme as its original form.

Alright,thats about it.

Once you sling the back pack over your shoulders a blinding blue light overtakes your bedroom.


	3. A Certain Adorkable Cinnamon Roll

_Previously on "The Fanboy and the Sterotypical Plot"_

A blinding blue light overtakes your bedroom

Unsheilding your eyes,you see a dorky (adorkable) teen stumble over his feet.

OH

MY

GOG

Its the man of the fucking hour.

The airheaded cutie.

The blue cinniamon roll.

John fucking Egbert.

He turns to look at you,smiles,and waves like the adorable little shit he is.

Wait...

He's looking at you

ABORTABORTABORTABORTABORTABORTABORTABORTABORTABORT

CUTIE HAS NOTICED YOU

FUCKING ABORT

Lance:Run Like A Motherfucker

You can't!DAMN SHOCK FACTORS TO HELL

You need to get out

Your mind is already in the gutter

You feel blood rushing to your face faster then a jet plane.

John looks at you with a confused look

"Hey...are you alright?Your face is kinda red"

Fuck

You spin around and try to reconstrust yourself.

You smack your face a little to get the blood down.

Breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wait your going to have to talk to him.

NO

GET YOURSELF TOGETHER BOY!

THIS IS JOHN FUCKING EGBERT WE"RE TALKING ABOUT!

DON' T. BLOW. THIS.

DO YOU WANT TO IMPRESS HIM OR NOT?!

You get to your senses and listen to your more reasonable self at the moment.

C'mon Lance,do you want some Egbert ass or not?

Wait fuck

That sounded wrong

Shit

HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!

OKAY!I'm sorry dude ;~;

Okay,calm response.

"Ya,I'm f-"

Your cut off by the cinnamon roll pokeing at some cloth the same color as his godtier outfit from under the bed.

Fuck

That has got to be your Godtier John Doll...

...shut up I know I have a problem.

Quick!Distract him!

Lance:Distract The Prankster

You reach over on your bed to grab a crumpled up piece of paper containing on of your failed drawings.

You throw it over John,at your bedroom door.

Like a wild animal,he snaps his head up and become distracted.

Mission Sucessful!

Lance:Do A Ranger Pose

You want to but there is no time (to explain)

With speed of the Flash,Sonic the Hedgehog,and Striders you grab your John Doll.

Concealing it in your bag with record time,Egbert turns around once again.

"Oh hey,uhhhh...Lance was it"

Do you go with proper or normal speech.

Well he's used to proper,but normal should make him more comfortable if your calculations are correct...

"Ya,I'm ...whats the deal with you popping into my room like fucking Houdini?"

He laughs a,would I mind you,sexy and cute laugh.

Calculations are correct,thank gog!

"Well you should know already since it seems you got Kanaya's message"

He pointed at your backpack,oh duh,Lance stop embaressing yourself.

"Oh,ya, so what exactly is happening?"

You just noticed your just as tall as him,perfectly at face height.

"Oh ya,I'm gonna have to take you somewhere"

Time to test your luck

"Hey,at least by me dinner first ya' weirdo."

He is confused but mostly amused.

"Seriously,gotta take you with me"

"Alrighty then,lets head off then."

He wraps is arm around your torso without even flinching with a smirk on his face.

OMG WE MADE CONTACT HOLYSHDTCVBRZXCTBVC DFIGUBFXRXTCYVU

"I'm kinda worried about how your completely fine with all this."

Think of something witty!

"Well this is practicaly a ask questions later sorta deal eh?"

He just gives you a amused chuckle when the blue light apears around you two.

Oh god this is just like appearification.

Lets hope you don't get injured.

Then you were off.

(I FUCKING HATE THIS DAMN DOC MANAGER IT KEEPS DELETEING RANDOM SHIT IN MY DOCUMENT GOD DAMN IT)


End file.
